I stole these from Darren Werschler on the Facebook group "George Bowering could kick your dad's ass" (yes, it really exists, and has upwards of 55 members) and I thought they were funny. They may be heavily borrowed, nay, even taken whole cloth, from the "Chuck Norris" trope, but that just adds a certain je ne sais quoi.
And yes, reports about the Week That Was are forthcoming. In the meanwhile, read of the Greatness.
Ahem.
"George Bowering owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
George Bowering does not sleep. He waits.
George Bowering puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
If you spell George Bowering wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean George Bowering?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
On a high school math test, George Bowering put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because George Bowering solves all his problems with Violence.
George Bowering can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
George Bowering died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Superman owns a pair of George Bowering pajamas.
Once a cobra bit George Bowering's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died."
Thanks Darren, and don't hunt me down for copy-and-pasting them.
