The weirdest writing contest rules I've ever seen

I just got this announcement from the "Global Writers' Network" - they're holding a writing contest. All well and good, but these are some of the weirdest contest rules I've ever run into. Leave aside the fact that they're asking for a story synopsis, not a story, in their short fiction category. That's slightly strange. But the rest of this, especially the limitations/prohibited content, is just too bizarre not to reprint in its entirety:

*ahem*

STEPS OF ENTRY SUBMISSION:

Follow these steps illustrated in these photographs:

(1.) Go to the event page here> http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=253409678190

(2.) Follow the description of this picture> http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30711836&op=1&o=all&view=all&subj=253409678190&aid=-1&oid=253409678190&id=1022673838

(3.) Then also this> http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30711837&op=1&o=all&view=all&subj=253409678190&aid=-1&oid=253409678190&id=1022673838

(4.) Add your photo/entry by click the ADD PHOTOS button> http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30711838&op=1&o=all&view=all&subj=253409678190&aid=-1&oid=253409678190&id=1022673838

--RGR

1st group writing competition.

Read and comprehend twice sharper than your pen. I'd write it loud so hear it clear.

1) Submit only 1 entry per writing genre. For example: if you have to join for the poetry genre competition, just submit one poem, which is related to the topic. You can join all of these 3 genres--poetry, essay, and story (only vague synopsis) but only one entry per category.

(2) Choose your preferred photo, which you think, is related to the literary piece you've written. Remember: the topic is all about LIFE.

(3) We will use the photograph application of our event page; so all entries will be posted on the photograph sub-field. Your literary piece will serve as the caption of your photograph. Follow the photograph example here> http://www.facebook.com/photoselect.php?oid=253409678190#/photo.php?pid=30707707&o=all&op=1&view=all&subj=253409678190&aid=-1&id=1022673838

(4) After you have posted your entry, never comment on your entry or like on the another entries, because these features must be preserved for the voting week (January 25 - 29, 2009).

-

After the submission of entries week, the event page and the Global Writers' Network will be temporarily closed; that's to make sure that no outsiders can vote during the casting of vote week. The photograph sub field also will be disabled so that no one can submit entries anymore after the date of entry submission.


During our 1st writing contest, decent and order will be prescribed. We believed that there is no substitute in the art of formality and orderliness, so we must follow rules and regulations.

I'll announce it again. There are only 3 writing genres in this contest. These are poetry, essay, and story (only synopsis). The theme is all about LIFE.

For poetry - it must be not less than 14 lines. Avoid cliches. For essay - it must be at least 500 words more, not less than 450 words. For story synopsis - it must be at least 500 words more, not less than 450 words. Must have the 3 major parts: the setting, conflict, and the climax.

RULES: No plagiarism, pornographic descriptions, rebellion against government systems or of God, green words, perverse idioms or expressions, and all unseemly violations.

WINNING CRITERIA:

MECHANICS - 60 % - Content, clarity of speech, on topic, sentiment, etc.

TECHNIQUES - 40 % - metered(only for metrical poetry--like sonnet), correct contractions, etc.

AWARDS:

1ST Place - You'll be given an electronic certificate and recognition by the GWN's admins, plus your work will be posted in the GWN's group information page as the 1st placer in our first competition, and will be posted on the FRONPAGE of the official main website of GWN which can be located within this web address: http://www.wriad.webs.com .
 

2ND Place - Also, will receive an electronic certificate recognized by the GWN's administrators; and your piece will also be posted on the main website of GWN.

3RD Place - You'll be recognized by the admins and your work will be posted on the INFO page of this group and on the FRONTPAGE of http://www.wriad.webs.com .

WARNING: plagiarized or just copied from another author will be automatically disqualified. GWN is not liable in any form or by any means in such case as literary robbery.

NOTE: The admins are not referees. We are also such as writing freaks. So yay! We'll join the contest. There's nothing to worry because we'll play it smooth and plain. The members are the judges. But for the sonnet department, only those who can submit a sonnet entry, or the one who will participate the contest can vote. The rest writing departments, all can vote.


SUBMISSION OF ENTRIES WILL BE ON JANUARY 18 - 24, 2009
DATE OF VOTING: JANUARY 25 - 29, 2009
DECLARATION OF WINNERS: JANUARY 30, 2009

MAIN ADMIN
-RGR

PS: Way of voting will be announced during the deadline of submission! May the best writers win! Write on and be prepare!

 

So there you have it. I'm completely confused. And what the hell is a 'green word'? Not to mention they're prohibiting 'rebellion against God or of government systems' and 'all unseemly violations'? What's an 'unseemly violation'?

The Proroguing Parliament Anthology

A note from Stephen Brockwell and Stuart Ross: 

Comrade poet!

Since Parliament has been prorogued, you're probably just sitting on your hands, bereft. But things are looking up!

You are invited to submit a poem for consideration for a new anthology to be published by Mansfield Press just in time for the reconvening of Parliament on March 3.

The collection is titled Rogue Stimulus: The Stephen Harper Holiday Anthology for a Prorogued Parliament. We're looking for poems of up to 75 lines: your tender musings on Stephen Harper.

We have to move fast. The deadline is midnight on Tuesday, January 19. Payment for your contribution is one copy of the anthology. It's gonna look good and it's gonna be full of good poems.

The editors of Rogue Stimulus are Ottawa poet Stephen Brockwell and Toronto/Cobourg poet Stuart Ross. Denis De Klerck, publisher of Toronto literary house Mansfield Press, is oiling up the machinery for quick action, to ensure the anthology's timely release.

Please email your poem (preferably as a Word attachment) to: harper@mansfieldpress.net

We look forward to hearing from you.

Stephen and Stuart

Go to a movie, come away with a gig

So I went to see Avatar (not for the first time) with a friend this evening (I know the story's sort of simple, but it's so damn gorgeous.) We were waiting for showtime when I spotted Faye Estrella coming toward us, having just gotten out of the previous showing. So I waved, said hi, and talked to her a little bit about the upcoming Dusty Owl (which will be both a launch for the Bywords Quarterly Journal and a celebration of Steve Sauvé's life: he died on the 17th of January last year.)

And she said, "Hey wait... you want to feature at Voices of Venus in February?" (She's one of the coordinators of the series, which is an all-women poetry series that started up just this year.)

So I said yes. And I'm going to be reading at VoV, on February 9th. I'm pretty sure this is my first ever feature. Gleep! 

Luckily, I can't think of a better series than Voices of Venus to break out what I have so far of my Chasing Boudicca poem cycle.

Calling all spoken word performers/poets...

A message I got from Faye Estrella AKA Festrell:

Books to Prisoners (Ottawa) and Exile Infoshop are putting together a
show for Akili Castlin, where local performers read his slam poetry
from his book "Who Am Eye: a spokenword memoir".

The Deets:
Saturday January 30th
7pm and onwards
@ UMI CAFE (Somerset & Percy)

I was asked to help find performers who wish to participate. I'm going
to be there. How about you?

Here's more details on the memoir and Akili Castlin himself.

'WHO AM EYE is a spokenword memoir, presented in three parts, that
explores the realities of life as a multiethnic black man.

The poems combine sharp political criticism with an honest examination
of the author’s particular experiences as he tries to “navigate the
vertiginous space between being poor, black and living from paycheck
to paycheck and middle-class, white and privileged: the equivalent of
going from the field to the overseer’s house, and back again.”'

Akili Castlin is a prisoner housed in Pelican Bay State Prison’s
Security Housing Unit. He is an author, avid reader and dedicated
political activist.

http://akilicastlin.wordpress.com/about/

Send/forward this email to anyone else you think would be interested.

A poem about practice

I came across this poem today, and was reminded not of any muscians I know, but of a novelist friend of mine who gets up at an hour in the morning that most of us would call ungodly so she can write for at least an hour in a coffee shop before starting her day job. She spends whole weekends and vacations sequestered with the laptop, in her house or at a convent (yes, a convent) ... and this spring she is publishing her third novel in something like two years. This poem reminds me of her.

 

I wanna win a trip to Kenya!
Summer Literary Seminars is announcing its annual unified (Montreal, Lithuania and Kenya) literary contest, held this year in affiliation with Fence Magazine. We are thrilled this year to have Mary Gaitskill judging the fiction, and Mary Jo Bang judging the poetry.

Contest winners in the categories of fiction and poetry will have their work published in Fence, as well as the participating literary journals in Canada, Lithuania and Kenya. Additionally, they will have the choice of attending (airfare, tuition, and housing included) any one of the SLS-2010 programs – in Montreal, Quebec (June 13 - 27); Vilnius, Lithuania (August 1 - 14); or Nairobi-Lamu, Kenya (December).

Second-place winners will receive a full tuition waiver for the program of their choice, and third-place winners will receive a 50% tuition discount.

A number of select contest participants, based on the overall strength of their work, will be offered tuition scholarships, as well, applicable to the SLS-2010 programs.

Full details: http://www.sumlitsem.org/slscontest.html

Contest Deadline: February 28, 2010.

Happy New Year - now let's list things!
Just came across these two articles... ah, lists. New Year's is always about lists, right? Top tens and hot-or-nots. So, here's a hot-or-not for Ottawa (I love that Guerilla Magazine kicks the ass of the embarrassing XPress, ditto the Elmdale Tavern wiping the foor with Barrymore's - nice to see new stuff coming up and supplanting the stalwarts. Ottawa's too much in love with tradition) and a list of the top ten literary feuds of the decade because hey, what's a literary community without vitriol, bile, and hurled insults?

Random House's e-grab

The American Authors Guild has been reacting strongly to Random House's misguided attempt to assert e-rights over older titles whose contracts pre-date the e-book.

I love the Authors Guild's response: "A fundamental principle of book contracts is that the grant of rights is limited.  Publishers acquire only the rights that they bargain for; authors retain rights they have not expressly granted to publishers.  E-book rights, under older book contracts, were retained by the authors."

I'm interested by the developments here, just because it's kind of fascinating to watch a whole new species evolve. (Is this what linguists felt watching Hawaiian Creole develop over the course of a generation?) And because in the industry I work in, whatever happens in the foggy world between digital and paper is going to have inevitable repurcussions.

It seems like no one knows what the rules are, and they're bashing them out as they go. Unfortunately, publishers sometimes emply people who make less-than-thought-through blanket assumptions, like, "losing copyright is bad, therefore we should just jump on and assert copyright we don't legally have because you just never know." 

How will it all shake out? It won't. A vivid line I have heard a couple of times from Cory Doctorow: "We're in a period of perpetual, wrenching technological change, and it's never gonna level out and settle into something stable." 

Hey, if you're me, that just sounds kinda exciting. If also a bit 'interesting' in the Chinese Curse sense. 

Weird what pops up.

Just spotted a clip from the September Nick Cave reading on a 'listen online' site: it's weird seeing this kind of thing cropping up. Things on the web have lives of their own.

(It makes me smile that it's the "Gladiator II" clip, too.)

Rally for Arts and Culture

There's a rally in support of arts and culture and taking a stand against the Harper government's attacks on the sector taking shape - it was on the down low till today but I've got a date now... 

The rally is on Sunday 13th. That's THIS Sunday.
At the Bronson Centre, 211 Bronson Avenue.
Doors open at 1:45: Concert at 2 pm.
 
Featuring performances by Canadian musicians and artists, speeches from politicians,  cultural organizations and union representatives
 
Join us for this free event of solidarity and show your support for culture & heritage!

I got the word on the rally from a friend on strike at the Museum of Civilization. More than two months they've been on strike, and nothing's happened so far. This rally's bound to have some effect.