I never really pegged myself as a performing poet. I admit, I think I do pay attention to the sounds of my poems and I try to focus on reading them well, but if there's an open mike I'm happy to sit back and listen, I shrug and say, "I didn't bring my stuff," or I just don't feel quite right about jumping up and claiming time that could as easily be filled with some other poet. It's the second-stringer, beta-wolf, supporting-cast side of me, I suppose.
So I was really surprised at how exhilarating it was to be a featured reader. I read at Voices of Venus last night, to a packed room at Umi Cafe, and it was fun. I wasn't even all that nervous, really. And having a whole half hour to stretch out and inhabit my work was great. I've done great shows with the Kymeras before - the Acadian set we did for the last Windborn was a highlight - but there's something qualitatively different about being the only featured artist. I found I really got comfortable up there when I had all that time and a sense of an arc to the material I was reading.
A lot of the reason for my comfort, I think, was the crowd. Voices of Venus is a really relaxed, fun space - props to Faye, the host, for creating that - and I think it is true that you can feel when a room full of people has 'clicked' somehow, when the audience is with you. It was a great feeling. I was surprised to discover that I had some funny poems - and had to remind myself to stop and wait for the laughs I hadn't been expecting - and was even more surprised by the occasional silent moment before people clapped, with a couple of of 'mm' sounds in the room. Oooh, fun.
The open mic was also great beforehand - first-timers and veteran readers alike got up and read or told stories. I admit to being a bit nervous about having to follow some of the poets that got up. But the huge variety of work that came out during the open mike dispelled that. There was such a number of different voices that I felt just fine about stepping up and saying, Okay, this is my voice. I don't slam, and haven't done open mike at Capital Slam (though I've been asked to) for that reason: my stuff just isn't slam stage material. But then nothing about this open mike was restricted to any one style.
And I was so buzzed afterwards! The coordinator, Allison, and I were standing around in the emptied-out cafe afterwards and she just kept bouncing up and down: which was pretty much exactly how I felt. I was on a complete high.
So while I never pegged myself as a performance sort of poet - I would so totally do that again!